This Sunday night at 6pm, I’ll have the honor of once again playing guitar with the fine folks at the Hunter Street Baptist Church in Hoover, AL. The occasion is an event called Praise 150 (not to be confused with Project 150… lol).
This is always a wonderful time of unbridled worship. This night is special for me as I get to perform my song “I Will Trust in You”, along with the story behind the song given by yours truly via video. A huge thanks to the worship team at HSBC for allowing me this opportunity.
So tonight was the final rehearsal for the event, and the first time we played the song with the video segment.
It was not a good night for me.
Oh the song sounded fine. Vocalist Keith Kirkley was amazing, and the HSBC rhythm section always superb. The video guys actually did an Oscar-worthy job of editing my ramblings into something brief and coherent.
For a song about trusting in God, I didn’t feel particularly trustworthy.
You see, I wrestle with the idea that God can use broken things and even more broken people. It’s easy to see someone else be used by God in powerful ways… but when it’s you (and you know all the things you know about yourself), it’s easy to feel disingenuous at best.
What makes for great testimony doesn’t always make for great life, especially when you’re going through that dark valley or trial. God has always proven faithful to be sure… but I sometimes tend to doubt his faith in me.
It would be simple at this point to lay blame at the enemy’s doorstep… that the accuser is once again accusing. Possibly so. I sometimes think we are too quick to see Satan’s hand at work when it’s so obvious that my own hands are the culprits.
Thankfully, I know that Grace is still working in my life, despite the things I’ve done… and even the things he knows that I’ll do. God is still revealing… still redeeming… and waiting to restore us.
So God has chosen the foolish things to proclaim his truth… to find weakness and use it to reveal his glory.
Perhaps that is the very thing that gives the Good News such power. That Holy Spirit works through the busted and broken in order to heal and make whole those who are hurting.
So the next time you see someone proclaiming the truth of God’s mercy and forgiveness, remember that they might be as messed up as you are. Maybe more.
And that God is wanting to use you, as messed up as you are for his purposes. I don’t always understand it… but I’ll certainly trust that He knows best.
So when I am afraid, I will trust in You.