Lately I’ve been talking a lot about this new collaboration with Wes Hampton of the Gaither Vocal Band. We’ve recorded brand new versions of two of my most popular songs, “Forty” and “I Will Trust in You”. Both of these songs are several years old, but they seem to resonate with folks. So I was looking back through past journal entries and noticed something; I’ve never shared the story behind the songs here in this journal. So if you will allow the length, here is the inspiration behind “I Will Trust in You.”
If you’ve ever gone through a failed pregnancy, then you know how devastating this experience can be. To go from the joy and expectancy of a new life… to the bitter pain of a life lost prematurely, the physical, emotional and spiritual toil can leave permanent scars.
God has blessed Carol and I with five children, but in between our second and third sons, we endured not one but two miscarriages. I almost cannot describe how this affected us. Needless to say, when we became pregnant again, there was always a shadow of fear in the background of our joy.
In February of 2004 we found that we were expecting a fifth child… we were so excited! Having four boys, we were of course hoping and praying for a daughter. When we announced our ‘impending arrival’, family and friends went crazy. As we were in our 40’s, we laughingly endured being called ‘Abram and Sarai’… lol.
But on the very day of our announcement, Carol started having problems. We immediately called her doctor but could not get an appointment for two days… two days! All the old fears and emotions were raging in my heart. How could God allow such a thing? We’d already been through all this twice! I’m ashamed to say that anger at God was just one of the emotions I was dealing with in this crisis. My heart prayer was for all to be made right. Thankfully God is big enough to take my puny rage.
I am a musician and songwriter. Part of who I am and how I deal with life and the world is through song. I can distinctly remember sitting on the edge of my bed on the night before Carol’s appointment. With my guitar in hand and my journal open, I was halfway playing and praying to God for guidance and understanding. I ran across a song fragment I had jotted down a month or so before. All I could see were the words of Psalm 56:3 leaping off the page… “When I am afraid, I will trust in You”.
It may seem like yet another songwriter story, but at that moment God gave me the song “I Will Trust in You”… it came into this world complete… chords, melody, and lyric. Through my tears I wrote down this incredible gift of comfort from Holy Spirit. I assumed that this was meant only for Carol and I, but in coming months this song found it’s way to Wes Hampton, where he and I performed it for the first time as part of a Celebrate Recovery worship service. God obviously had other plans for this song!
Audra Grace Vinson was born on October 29, 2004 and at the time of this writing is a healthy and vibrant four year old (going on twenty!). God not only brought our family through this trial, but the message of hope and grace and trust at the heart of “I Will Trust in You” is now being heard all around the world.
In this time of hopelessness in our world, God is using this simple song to proclaim the truth that He is hope, and that He is trustworthy!
Thank you for allowing me to share with you. It is the prayer of both Wes Hampton and myself that the promise of Psalm 56:3 will be at the center of this project and in everything we do.